Well, it has certainly been longer than I intended between posts. Over a year in fact! While I’m sure no one particularly cares for the reasons, it doesn’t feel right to just dive back in without some sort of explanation. It’s hard to make that first post when you’ve taken a break. Although I was never very regular poster on Substack, a year is a considerable amount of time and it’s definitely felt like a journey to get back here.
Perhaps my hesitation comes more from the fact that I’ve taken a bit of hiatus from textiles as a whole, this past year. Re-reading my last post I remember how keen I was to get back to making after the hectic summer holiday juggle. Unfortunately that didn’t quite work out! Life got busy and somewhere along the way I lost my love of weaving. Temporarily, it turned out - thankfully! But at the time I wasn't sure if or when I would return to it. What started as a creeping apathy escalated into a complete avoidance. Moving house in November 2023 and having to box up all my textile tools and supplies, put the final nail in the coffin. They sat untouched in my basement for months on end. Buried underneath haphazard piles of my possessions, I couldn’t bring myself to sort it into any sort of order. I closed my website and instead threw my energies in to other hobbies such as photography and running.
The pressure of trying to make money from a craft I loved had taken away all the enjoyment. I felt like I could no longer play and that I was failing at turning it into a business. After 2 years, surely I should be making more sales?! While some people may have dug deeper and pushed through the blocks, I just felt exhausted by the idea of continuing to try and sell my work. I just didn't have it in me to continue.
So how did I get my weaving mojo back? Well, an opportunity to teach weaving came around at the beginning of the summer. A lovely lady visiting the UK wanted to learn how to weave from scratch. I was a little hesitant after having a break, but my weaving knowledge was thankfully still at the tips of my fingers. Hooray for muscle memory! The process of showing her how to dress the loom and seeing weaving through her eyes, ignited a tiny little spark in me. Having conversations around the beauty of the process and the value of craft lit me up. Around the same time, I had a commission for two cushions come through. Serendipitous little signs that perhaps it was time to get back to the loom. The chaotic basement that I’d been putting off sorting out, actually took just a few days (in-between working, life etc.) to organise. Much less time than I thought. I felt the blocks dissolving and my passion for textiles returning. I’ve also recently increased my hours at my day job (a shop assistant at a fabric and haberdashery shop), which lessens the pressure of making money from my craft. Of course, I still aspire to have a successful textile business, but it’s much easier to be creative without the constant need to make money. If you run a creative business, nurturing your creativity is key.
Another reason for the return of my passion is the rejuvenating ‘back to school’ feelings of September. I love a good fresh start and this time of year always brings a renewed focus. As Autumn arrives, I’ve felt such a pull towards creating, to get back to weaving and to return to posting here. My brain is full of ideas of textile stories to tell. Dreams that I thought were dead are flooding back in. What a relief! Being a weaver had become part of my identity. It felt odd to feel so disconnected from something that has been a big part of my life for years. I do believe we can live many lifetimes in one life. But I’m not quite ready to leave my life as a weaver behind me just yet!
Here’s to ideas old and new and hopefully some rejuvenated textile ramblings to come! I’ll leave you with a photograph of my loom in its current state, dressed and ready to weave - what a glorious sight!
I have found in my own life that my creative pursuits wax and wane depending on the season of life. But trying to make something that I love into a full time job has killed my interest in so many things. Having done that a number of times, I’ve been a little better about protecting some of my hobbies from, well, myself.
I’m glad you are finding your way back to weaving. It’s a beautiful way to spend time.
You found your way back, and that is a huge thing. Sometimes life hands us a phase of being where we can shift and disconnect from things we love (I took 4 years off writing and actually thought it was possible I wouldn’t go back, but I’ve just found my way back to it recently). Perhaps our passions are a light that guides us when we move away from ourselves and the time we spend nurturing our creativity.